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Archive for the ‘Uncategorized’ Category

Two Fears That Cause All Your Fights

Seriously, do you think ’cause you’re married or coupled you can skip saying thank you & please? Stop fights. Shut up and look at your partners eyes. Don’t speak until you see warmth or you feel warmth. Love filled with fear won’t speak with honesty. “Be in the present” […]

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Give It A Rest

Give It A Rest

“Give it a rest,” is not the same as avoiding. One partner always wants to process more than the other. It seems to be a weird law of becoming a couple. One needs to express feelings too frequently for the other. Try something different instead of playing […]

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Tests of Love

When individuals are unconsciously scared of their own needs they sometimes make up stories and exaggerate the effect that their partner’s weakness’s have on commitment Their partner’s short comings become a bigger deal than need to be. Let’s say you’re looking forward to seeing your partner but […]

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Your Smart Phone Is Making You Feel Like A Loser

Your smart phone is making you feel like loser. 24 access to other people means 24 hours of wondering why you haven’t beencalled, texted, IM, emailed, facebooked, flickered, stumbled upon. So now yourehooked into your own popularity contest. Who is thinking of me? Why aren’t theythinking of […]

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On Jealousy

Most of the jealousy I’ve encountered between couples in therapy seems to be based on a similar dynamic. One partner wants more than the other partner wants to freely give. The demanded upon partner either feels bullied, trapped, disapproved of, or weary of angry fights. So the […]

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Couples

Couples form for many reasons-companionship, having kids, mutual interests. What keeps a couple together and happy is feeling valued and respected by each other. Not valuable but valued. No one was born with the right to criticize their partner. Do your own laundry. Pick up your own […]

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Trust

Trust is evaporating in modern life. What role can love in our personal lives offer as a respite from the seeming loss of trust in every major industry and governing bodies? Can a partner make up for losses that you experience from elsewhere in the world? I […]

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Fighting For What?

“My relationship problems consume me and I don’t have the concentration to live the life I value. ” While conducting couples therapy I frequently hear versions of this lament. One husband said, ” Let’s stop fighting so we can work on climate change and do more charity […]

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Endings

When your relationship is ending remember your behavior is what represents your dignity. Forget the behavior you see on Reality Show. The participants are encouraged to go out of control for the cameras. Hitting, punching, and throwing things does not make you a better person. You may […]

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Sacrifice & Compromise

Sacrifice in a relationship is a noble concept that usually comes back to bite the one who sacrificed. Sacrifice usually has a hidden agenda. “If I sacrifice my desire to live on the west coast and move to NY with my partner, he/she will love me even […]

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