Contact: drnancy@drnancy.net

Love isn’t always on time.

Love isn’t always on time. The feelings of love can exist without the readiness to be a full time partner. Romance requires softening, opening up, letting some one in. But long term commitments requires other skills. Knowing when to rely on yourself instead of your partner. For example, a new boyfriend may be very focused on you and call or text during your work day. But in a long term relationship do you want a partner who repeatedly calls you at work when he is at home solely because he feels lonely? Do you want a partner who says that you are the only person who understands me? “Don’t go away with your friends this weekend because I need you at home with me.”

A mature relationship can exist at any age as well as an immature relationship. Love isn’t always on time means that sometimes your loved one needs to grow or learn how to handle the parts of themselves that can doom a relationship. Too much anger, blaming, not being self supporting, and acting as if your partner is one giant parent who is in your life to sooth your upsets, get you a glass of water before bed, do your laundry, adore you, and be great in bed too are common complaints from the fed-up ex as he/she walks out the door.

Take a hint from a couples therapist-selfish partners don’t change because you politely ask them to change. In fact, a selfish partner will find a way to get you to feel guilty for asking. You got to fight for your freedom. Sometimes even separate before the message gets through!

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