Archive for July 2012

Men & Women

Female brains want to keep connection at any cost, but men’s brains are wired to avoid interpersonal conflict. Men’s blood pressure goes up and cortisol gets released during an interpersonal squabble and their brain instructs their bodies to slow down. Slow the amount of your heart beats, […]

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Sacrifice & Compromise

Sacrifice in a relationship is a noble concept that usually comes back to bite the one who sacrificed. Sacrifice usually has a hidden agenda. “If I sacrifice my desire to live on the west coast and move to NY with my partner, he/she will love me even […]

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You Fall In Love With Emotionally Distant People…

You fall in love with emotionally distant people and they can’t protect you from your fantasies about them. We may suspect that underneath their mask of indifference lies a vulnerable person who is waiting for you to rescue them from their life of aloneness. BUT usually not. […]

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Yearning for someone does not make them yearn magically for you.

Some of my clients are caught between a rock and an abandoning place. Because they long for someone those feelings build up an imaginary relationship. Longing reinforces longing. It does not change the reality of a one-sided relationship. Be kind to yourself and feel good that you […]

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Feeling Unloved

If you feel unloved by your spouse but also you feel superior to them – there’s trouble brewing. You lack of respect for him or her but still feel dependent on getting your needs met from them. Of course your partner knows when he/she is only tolerated, […]

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Most women take on domestic chores for three reasons. Usually the chores matter to them and women notice when the house or the apartment is a mess more than men. The third reason women do more of the domestic chores is that most men let women do […]

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Spotted: Sidewalk Love

I saw a couple on the sidewalk meet up. He was carrying a shopping bag. She too. Clearly they were new loves. He asked her with a smile what did you buy? She smiled back and said let me show you. Remaining curious about your partner is […]

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Respect is a word that couples often do not understand. I hear it frequently, “Of course, I respect my spouse.” But name-calling, rolling your eyes, contempt, ridicule, and intentionally embarrassing your partner is mean-spirited. Telling your partner his or her motives is arrogant. Another person can’t know […]

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When you love, ask yourself if you are becoming more demanding or more kind?

After the initial romance, have you begun to think of your partner as your emotional drug dealer. Are they supposed to sooth you whatever mood you are in? Guaranteed your relationship will end. The prize in falling in love is that you are loved— not that you […]

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Modern Parenting

There is a new generation of kids who are being raised by parents who treat them as little Gods. The kids vote on matters to the family as if their opinions are equivalent to the parents. The parents speak to them in psychobabble. Instead of setting a […]

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