Archive for 2013

Avoiding Ourselves By Picking a Fight!

Most couples will go through a long period of feeling stuck. Chronic boredom, routine, loneliness, fighting, withdrawing, ignoring, blaming, blow ups, and going numb are just some of the long term behaviors couples hide behind. Why? Despite their best efforts becoming a lasting couple means facing every […]

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Is This Relationship Healthy?

Big Questions cannot help you. Should I stay or go? Is this a good relationship for me? Is my partner going to change? Am I happy enough in this relationship? While asking yourself Big Questions, is, of course, sometimes necessary your most effective questions are more simple […]

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Fantasy Relationships vs The Real Thing

How do you know when your romantic relationship is more of a creation waiting to happen than one you can count on in the present? Answer this question: Are most of your thoughts and actions based on getting the relationship to a more solid place in the […]

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Uncertainty in love

Uncertainty in love, at work, even changing friendships weigh like lead in our minds and heart. Humans crave certainty yet we are born into a world of constant change and impermanence. What a wrenching combo. Needing security in an insecure world. To stop our fears, demands, expectations, […]

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Generation Courage

The twenty somethings are smart, worldly and despairing. Many of my clients up to the age of 30 are saying to me, ” I wish I grew up when you did.” ” Why?” “Because the world had values then, now everyone is out for themselves.” EVERYONE AGREES […]

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Being curious

Love begins a relationship. Lack of empathy ends it. It does not matter what the topic is that a couple argues about (, cleaning, romance) if you purposely insult or act superior to your partner you will eventually undermine his/her feelings of love. Being emotionally intimate requires […]

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What Kills Romance?

Secretly protecting your partner kills a couples’ romantic life! Protection may be as simple as not giving honest feedback because you fear that you will add to your partner’s over all pain in life. For example, often men don’t want to tell the woman in their life […]

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You control loving!

Change can be exciting, difficult, painful, a sign of progress or window dressing for staying the same. If we choose to make a change we usually think of it as us having taken control of our lives. If change is dropped on us then we tend to […]

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When You Are Getting Played

New romance is exciting and blinding. Our hopes for love, protection, feeling desired and companionship can override our self preservation instincts. We may ignore our gut feeling that our new lovers behavior or attitude indicates long term trouble. Key reasons to not trust a new romance! 1) […]

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Fear Kills

When individuals are unconsciously scared of their own needs they sometimes make up stories about their partner’s weaknesses. Their partners’ short comings become a bigger deal than need be. For example, you’re looking forward to seeing your partner but he or she is often late. You’re aware […]

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