Big Questions cannot help you. Should I stay or go? Is this a good relationship for me? Is my partner going to change? Am I happy enough in this relationship? While asking yourself Big Questions, is, of course, sometimes necessary your most effective questions are more simple […]
Read more →The twenty somethings are smart, worldly and despairing. Many of my clients up to the age of 30 are saying to me, ” I wish I grew up when you did.” ” Why?” “Because the world had values then, now everyone is out for themselves.” EVERYONE AGREES […]
Read more →Love begins a relationship. Lack of empathy ends it. It does not matter what the topic is that a couple argues about (i.e.money, cleaning, romance) if you purposely insult or act superior to your partner you will eventually undermine his/her feelings of love. Being emotionally intimate requires […]
Read more →Change can be exciting, difficult, painful, a sign of progress or window dressing for staying the same. If we choose to make a change we usually think of it as us having taken control of our lives. If change is dropped on us then we tend to […]
Read more →When individuals are unconsciously scared of their own needs they sometimes make up stories about their partner’s weaknesses. Their partners’ short comings become a bigger deal than need be. For example, you’re looking forward to seeing your partner but he or she is often late. You’re aware […]
Read more →Couples form for many reasons. companionship, having kids, mutual interests. What keeps a couple together and happy is feeling valued and respected by each other. Not valuable but valued. No one was born with the right to criticize their partner. Do your own laundry. Pick up your […]
Read more →Fighting is a cover. When partners consistently fight, they assume that their partner is the problem. Maybe. But many times each partner is terrified of feeling their own fears and vulnerabilities. As long as they can fight then they can avoid looking inside their own hearts. I’ve […]
Read more →Two types of fighting: 1) Stupid and destructive fights- because you just want to be in control. 2) Difficult but productive fights- although saying the truth initially feels painful. The tricky thing about fighting is that your hurt and anger created the fight but the end comes […]
Read more →Both have value. In fact, coaching helps you figure out your values and take action to meet your goals. Values are important in therapy, too. However when you have been stuck for a long time or the same conflicts continue to reoccur in your life therapy brings […]
Read more →Holding on to your individuality is difficult in an intimate relationship. Think of the game musical chairs. Two people two chairs but suddenly when they become a couple there’s only one lazy boy in the room. What happened? Expectations of twinship. You will complete each other. “Your […]
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