Archive for the ‘Modern Life’ Category

Time Away

Every couple, if possible would benefit from time away from each other. A night , a weekend whatever allows one spouse to stop reacting to the rules and values of the other spouse. Some couples emotionally merge – no longer knowing their separate needs. As a couple […]

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Fighting For What?

“My relationship problems consume me and I don’t have the concentration to live the life I value. ” While conducting couples therapy I frequently hear versions of this lament. One husband said, ” Let’s stop fighting so we can work on climate change and do more charity […]

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Empty or Full?

Feeling empty is common. Despite our successes, or material comfort we can’t overcome our own sense of disconnection from ourselves. We have temporary escapes, a new relationship, an affair, getting high, spending, over work, rescuing others, zoning out and more. Each of us has our favorite methods […]

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You Fall In Love With Emotionally Distant People…

You fall in love with emotionally distant people and they can’t protect you from your fantasies about them. We may suspect that underneath their mask of indifference lies a vulnerable person who is waiting for you to rescue them from their life of aloneness. BUT usually not. […]

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Respect is a word that couples often do not understand. I hear it frequently, “Of course, I respect my spouse.” But name-calling, rolling your eyes, contempt, ridicule, and intentionally embarrassing your partner is mean-spirited. Telling your partner his or her motives is arrogant. Another person can’t know […]

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Romantic Love

Loving someone in a romantic way is a grand feeling. But romantic love also distorts our thinking. We may see what we want to. Because we see the good in our lovers we may believe our love will change their self-destructive behavior. We want our love to […]

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