Fantasy Relationships vs The Real Thing

How do you know when your romantic relationship is more of a creation waiting to happen than one you can count on in the present? Answer this question: Are most of your thoughts and actions based on getting the relationship to a more solid place in the future? Are you waiting for a job or a move or graduating, getting promoted, having a baby, or buying a house? Then, you rationalize; the best of you and your partner will shine through. Forget it. Your relationship is what it is, today. If for example you don’t trust your partner, like, feel safe, feel close to and so nothing in the future will magically make your experience of being together different. Because we love someone we often slide into believing the future will change his or her emotional make up. No. If a couple regularly fights and they attribute it to living in a small apartment, moving to a big house will only change their style of fighting. Instead of bickering one can go to another room and ice out the other one. Same goes for long distance relationships; whatever is missing now has to be addressed. Relying on better circumstances in the future to create emotional stability is like banking fool’s gold.

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