Uncertainty in love

Uncertainty in love, at work, even changing friendships weigh like lead in our minds and heart. Humans crave certainty yet we are born into a world of constant change and impermanence. What a wrenching combo. Needing security in an insecure world. To stop our fears, demands, expectations, obsessive thinking, and sorrow about the lover who falls short, or even the anxiety of a weekly paycheck, and the loss of friendships we will have to feel powerless. I’m not suggesting that we stay powerless but we must acknowledge our powerless feelings. Grieve it, sad and mad, only then can we find something in our selves that will be the seeds of resilience.
Finding strength is messy. We have many false starts. Don’t blame yourself if it takes months or years. Repairing from fear and loss takes time, and while we are recovering most likely additional losses and anxieties will occur.
We can handle it, but that may look messy too. Lousy sleep, mood changes, doubt, tears, shut off to feeling, too much TV or too much booze or drugs, eating. Feelings of doom. Health is affected. Our goal is to minimize the damage we do to ourselves when we feel powerless. Don’t get indulgent and harm yourself or others because you are suffering and in pain. Plato said to be kind to ourselves and others- living is a hard battle.

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