Secretly protecting your partner kills a couples’ romantic life! Protection may be as simple as not giving honest feedback because you fear that you will add to your partner’s over all pain in life. For example, often men don’t want to tell the woman in their life that her parents ignore her or that they favor her sister. So when the couple visits with her parents he stays quiet although her parents belittle her. He doesn’t show his real feelings. He is angry towards the in laws but at the same time he doesn’t want to make his partner feel embarrassed by expressing anger or even calmly exposing the parents, “you’re hurting your daughter.” He doesn’t want to say the truth in front of the woman that he loves and have her face more pain.
Of course, his wife or girlfriend senses his withdrawal. Later, in the car going home she asks, “Is something wrong.” He replies, “No just tired.” She doesn’t believe him. She gets quiet or maybe she pushes and he starts a fight. Either way SHE KNOWS that something is wrong. He denies it. She feels lonely. He ignores the gulf between them. Ironically like her parents he’s ignored her, denied her reality and left her lonely, but in his mind he spent the evening feeling sick about her hurts.
At home he decides to go watch TV; she had secretly hoped that they could get in bed together. Instead of great lovemaking or even affection she’s falling asleep wondering what’s wrong with her. Neither her parents or her fella seem to want her. Meanwhile sex is the last thing on his mind. He’s been worried about her for hours. He’s emotionally exhausted from spending so much time feeling her pain that he wants time alone.
When you secretly protect your partner-even for a noble reason-eventually you will become secretly unhappy with your partner.
